


Out of Control In Your Hands

by ariapassionflower01



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Porn with some plot, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-01-25
Packaged: 2018-01-09 22:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariapassionflower01/pseuds/ariapassionflower01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom is afraid, but Bill is going to be there to hold his hand the whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Control In Your Hands

A banging front door downstairs alerted Tom that Bill was home. Tom pulled out one of his earbuds and listened, hardly breathing, as his twin moved around downstairs. Tom's mouth felt dry at thought of him coming upstairs. He held the earbud tightly between his fingers for several more long seconds before telling himself that he should just put it back in and ignore Bill. When he did, however, he just felt sick. A small voice in the back of his head asked him if he had ever stopped feeling sick in the first place. Maybe a little relieved when Bill had gone out of the house for a few hours, but not stopped feeling sick. Tom wondered if the feeling would ever go away. The same voice told him that it could... if Tom would just stop being stubborn. Not stubborn, just scared, another voice countered.  
Tom cursed under his breath and thought about throwing everything down and going downstairs to face Bill. But it was easier said than done. How many times in the past two weeks had he been at his door, trying to make himself go in and tell Bill the truth – that he was scared, fucking scared more than anything. But he couldn't. And now the time was passed for Bill to be disappointed. Now he was just frustrated, maybe a little angry. He didn't understand. How could he? What Bill had willingly accepted, Tom could not. For once in their hardly diverging lives, they couldn't come to agreement.  
Tom settled back down on the bed and closed his eyes. Not for the first time, he wished he could just go to sleep and forget the whole thing. A tapping, nagging sound in the back of his mind wouldn't let him.... Wait... that sound was real. Tom yanked his earbud out again, felt his stomach drop when he heard rap of knuckles on his door. Bill's knuckles. Tom swallowed hard. He couldn't even make himself say “Come in.” The door opened on its own and Tom glanced over his shoulder to see Bill looking in.  
“I brought take-out home.” He said quietly. His eyes were soft, maybe even a little apologetic, but Tom could not understand the look. Bill's eyes were so expressive; they said so many things at once that sometimes Tom had a hard time comprehending all the feelings that could come from such a slight individual.  
Tom shrugged slightly. “I'm not really hungry.”  
Something flickered in Bill's eyes and his brows drew together. “You can't always not be hungry, Tomi.” He finished the reprimand with the pet name, as if it softened the blow. Tom looked away, stared at the wall. “Come on,” Bill coaxed, but Tom could hear the threadbare patience in his voice.  
“Why don't you just yell at me, Bill?” Tom finally snapped. He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but, damnit, why did Bill had to act like this when Tom knew how he really felt.  
“I don't want to yell at you.” Bill replied, almost indignant.  
Tom let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes again. He could feel hot moisture pressing at his eyelids and he swallowed back the emotion, unwilling to come apart over something so simple as take-out.  
“I just thought you might want something to eat.” Bill said tersely. “Since you haven't eaten anything since...” He paused as if calculating the hours. “Last night.”  
“Fine.” Tom said, sitting up and throwing the earbuds away from him. “I'll eat it, okay?” He looked at Bill for the first time since he had come into the room and saw that his expression was hurt. Letting out a short breath, Tom rose from the bed and left the room, breezing past Bill. Their shoulders barely touched and Tom could smell the scent of shampoo and lavender laundry detergent.  
He left Bill standing in the doorway and jogged down the stairs. By the time he reached the kitchen, he was angry at himself for snapping at Bill. Bill was trying to be nice and bring him something to eat and Tom had been total asshole.  
Tom found the take out and sat down to eat, however, it was tasteless in his mouth. It tasted more like the bitter tears he had forced back down his throat.  
“Tomi,” Bill's soft voice interrupted his thoughts. Bill sat down at the other side of the table and placed his hands in front of him. He clasped his hands then picked at a nail. “We can't keep doing this.” He said at last.  
Tom couldn't say anything. He just stared down at the food.  
“I hate this.” Bill said after a pause, and this time Tom could hear the tears in his voice. “I want my brother back.” He said, his voice quavering, but hard at the same time.  
“I'm right here.” Tom said, quietly, lifting his eyes.  
Bill's dark eyes were shimmering with tears, a single drop caught on his lower lashes of his left eye. His full lips quivered, ready to twist in an all-out sob. “No.” He insisted, “You're not. I didn't think that when I asked you...” His voice trailed off. “I didn't think it would end like this.”  
Tom stalled. Bill had actually brought it up and now he wanted to talk about it. “I can't.” He said, weakly, at last.  
“I don't understand.” Bill said, the tear breaking free of his eyelashes and trailing down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly with his fingertips and looked away, clenching his jaw.  
“It's not how I work, Bill. Maybe you can. I can't.”  
“Everyone can, Tom.” Bill replied, looking back at him.  
“Physically, maybe.” Tom said, pushing away from the table, hoping to escape this conversation.  
Bill sat quietly at the table for a moment before he followed Tom. But Tom didn't know where he was going in the first place so they came to a halt at the edge of the livingroom.  
“Tom,” Bill grabbed his arm, his hand warm through the material of Tom's shirt. Tom stopped, shut down by the sensation, the kindness that radiated through that hand. “Please,” Bill said, his eyes wide, “Help me understand. We can get through this.”  
Tom sighed. He wanted to pull out of Bill's grip, but he couldn't.  
“You're my brother, my twin... my other half.” Bill went on, stepping closer to him, and placing a hand on his chest. “I want to understand you.”  
Tom looked into Bill's eyes, and this time he couldn't stop the onslaught of emotion. Biting down hard on his lip, he looking away. He tried to blink away the tears, but he only accomplished in pushing them down his cheeks.  
“Tom?” Bill cried, alarmed by Tom's tears. He stepped closer to him, sliding his hand to the back of Tom's head. “Please, talk to me, Tom.” He insisted.  
Instead of talking, Tom just stepped forward and laid his head against Bill's chest. It felt so good, so comforting, so right. Bill's arms went around him, enveloping him in an embrace that made Tom feel protected.  
“Please, Tom, I'm not angry at you.” Bill said, quietly, his breath whispering over Tom's forehead. “I won't ever be mad at you, I promise.”  
Tom shut his eyes, breathed out heavily. When Bill promised something, he usually meant it. No, he always meant it.  
“I...” Tom began, his voice quavering. “I'm... afraid.”  
Bill was quiet for a moment before he squeezed Tom tighter, “Oh, Tomi, you don't have to be. I was afraid, but there's nothing to be afraid of.”  
“But...” Tom whispered. “I'm afraid of... not... not being in control.”  
Bill didn't say anything this time for a long while. At last, he said, “Its only me, Tom. I don't want to control you. I just...” He pulled back slightly to look into Tom's eyes. “I want you.” The words went so deep, that Tom wasn't sure if they were sexual at all. “And I want all of you. I want us to have all of each other.” Bill went on. “Doesn't that make sense?”  
Tom nodded slowly. Was this the conversation he had been avoiding for nearly two weeks? He had thought it would be painful, long and drawn out, but suddenly it just felt like a relief.  
“I don't want to force you.” Bill said, quietly, stroking the side of Tom's face. “Maybe I pushed too hard too soon.” Concern etched his face and he combed his fingers thought Tom's hair.  
Tom reached up and gripped Bill's hand. “No. I need to get through this. I need you to help me.”  
“I'm here. Always.” Bill vowed, drawing Tom closer to him.  
They were so close, their noses barely a centimeter apart. Tom could feel Bill's breath against his lips and he could study every single detail and nuance of Bill's warm, brown eyes. Tom's heart slowed to steady beat and he was sure Bill's pulse was in time with his own. There was no one else in the world – just the two of them, trusting and believing in each other.  
“Let go.” Bill murmured, his hands holding steadily to either side of Tom's face. “Let me take care of you.”  
Tom barely nodded, afraid to move, afraid to break the trance.  
But when he closed his eyes, he wasn't afraid of went on on the other side of his eyelids. It was like freefalling, only he knew that Bill was going to catch him.  
He felt Bill's lips against his, the warm caress that sent a shiver through him. He didn't move, didn't fight as Bill coaxed his mouth open, swept his tongue inside. The simple touch sent desire spiraling through him, but it seemed so different than before. This time, he knew, Bill was going to lead the way. While their movements were so familiar and practiced, Tom knew this encounter would be different than any other.  
When Bill pulled back, his his lids were heavy over his warm brown eyes. His hands remained on either side of Tom's face as he whispered, “Do you want to go to the bedroom?”  
Tom's throat still felt tight and he didn't trust himself to speak. Instead, he simply nodded and reached up to grip one of the Bill's hand, the one that had the bones inked beautifully and carefully onto his flesh. Bill held on and turned, leading them towards the stairs. Tom kept his eyes on the back of Bill's long, blonde mane, the tanned, toned shoulders, the narrow curve of his waist. He held Bill's hand tighter, nearly crushing the fine-boned hand.  
When they reached the bedroom, Bill shut the door softly behind them and turned to Tom. There was hesitancy in his eyes, but determination as well.  
“I promise right now,” He stated, stepping close to Tom, “I will stop as soon as you tell me.”  
Tom shook his head, his loose bun flopping at his nape, “No.” He whispered, his voice hoarse. “Do not stop.”  
“Tom,” Bill's voice was firm, “I'm not forcing you to do anything. This is us. Together.” His dark brows furrowed and he searched Tom's eyes, as if to discern Tom's understanding.  
“And I'm telling you,” Tom said, “Don't stop. I want this. I'm just...” He looked away, biting at his lower lip, “I need you.” He whispered at last. The words were raw; they left Tom feeling so vulnerable. He had never needed anyone in his life – no one but Bill.  
“And I need you.” Bill replied, his voice soft. Tom's eyes went back to Bill's and he lost himself in the dark gaze, so loving, so sincere. Bill moved in again, pressing their lips together. The rings in their lips scraped and clinked, but their mouths were soft and moist. Tom parted his lips, let Bill's tongue sweep in with his own special taste. Tom found himself gripping the front of Bill's shirt, holding on for dear life.  
When Bill disconnected their lips, he slid his hands down to the edge of Tom's shirt, and drew it up slowly, his fingertips brushing Tom's sides. Tom uncurled his fingers from Bill's shirt and let Bill remove the article of clothing. He breathed hard as he returned the favor, stripping Bill from the waist up. Bill's hands were steady as he moved on to Tom's pants, pulling away his boxers as well. Tom was disappointed to find that he was only about halfway aroused. Usually by this point, he had a full-blown hard-on, so aroused that he had one foot in the abyss of pleasure. Fear, he supposed, was a real buzz kill.  
“Its ok.” Bill murmured, as if sensing Tom's distress. “Lay back.” He said, guiding Tom to the bed. Tom let out a shuddering breath as he lay back on to the familiar sheets. They had been freshly laundered the day before and they still smelled of lavender, but now Bill's scent lined the sheets as well. Tom closed his eyes, breathed the combination in deeply.  
Above him, Bill was stripping out of the last of his clothing. He climbed onto the bed after Tom and leaned over him, saying, “Let's start out slow, okay?”  
Tom shuddered, nodding a few short times. Bill was handling this so much better than he had. Bill had always handled it better, from the very beginning.  
Bill moved down between Tom's legs. Although his limbs felt like jelly, Tom managed to inch his thighs apart as Bill settled between them. His palm was warm, sliding up Tom's thigh. His fingertips brushed the sensitive crease beside his cock and Tom scraped his teeth over his lower lip, biting at his lip ring. Bill's palm moved up and then his fingers were encircling Tom's cock, massaging slowly. Tom let out a halting breath, trying to calm himself. This was familiar. Bill had done this a hundred times.  
“How's that feel?” Bill asked quietly as his fingers squeezed, pulling up and down.  
Tom swallowed, and whispered, “Good... like always.” Tom could more feel Bill's little smile than see it. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes, but he could sense Bill's movements and expressions as if they were his own.  
Tom tried to relax and let the blood flow as Bill continued the steady pace. He focused on the warmth of his hand, the arousing way his fingers clenched about him. Slowly, he felt his cock rising to full hardness, an ache beginning to tighten in his groin.  
Tom reached out for Bill and Bill grabbed his hand. “Are you okay?” He asked, sounding a little alarmed.  
“Yeah,” Tom whispered, roughly, “Fine.... it feels good.”  
“How close?” Bill asked, his voice even quieter than before.  
“Maybe halfway there.” Tom replied.  
Bill was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Do you wanna move on?”  
Tom frowned and bit at his lower lip. He forced his eyes open and found Bill hovering over him. For a moment, he couldn't say anything. He wanted to move on, he really did, but the same old fear rose up inside him.  
“We can stop if you want.” Bill repeated his promise from earlier.  
“No.” Tom insisted, pressing his eyes back shut for a moment. “No.” He repeated more calmly. “I'm going to do this.”  
Bill nodded, “Okay, then. Let me get the lube.”  
That statement sent Tom's heart knocking in his chest, but he forced the panic not to show on his face. If it did, Bill would stop, and Tom could mark another one down for Pussy Tom. He had to do this, and he couldn't let Bill stop. If he could, he would just make Bill force him instead of being nice and slow. Nice and slow was leaving Tom time to doubt himself.  
Bill returned to the bed and Tom caught sight of his cock, fully erect and throbbing. He knew that Bill had wanted this for a long time and he cursed himself for keeping himself from him.  
“Do you wanna to lie on your back or stomach?” Bill asked.  
“Uh...” Tom whispered. He honestly didn't know. He didn't have any experience in this position in bed.  
Bill looked up at him, seeing the uncertainty in his eyes. “On your stomach is more comfortable for the first time.” He advised softly.  
Tom swallowed and nodded, forcing his limbs to move. He felt weak as he rolled onto his stomach. It was a relief to relax again against the sheets.  
“Okay.” Bill whispered, and for the first time, Tom could hear the quiver in his twin's voice. Tom remembered that feeling, wanting Bill so bad, but a little unsure of himself. Silently, he urged Bill to keep up the courage he had, had for the first part of the encounter. God knew, Tom didn't possess it, and most of this depended on Bill.  
Tom heard the cap of the lube opening and tried not to tense up. Next, he felt Bill's hand slide up his thigh and come to rest at one buttock. Bill's fingers squeezed slightly before he spread Tom's buttocks apart, revealing the little hole resting between them. He dipped the fingers of his other hand in, and Tom felt the lukewarm temperature of the lube touch him. He grabbed at handfuls of the sheets and bit his lip. Bill massaged him slowly at first, swiping lube around and on his entrance, but not breaching him. Tom stared at the wall, hardly breathing. He felt like he was going to burst inside – either to tell Bill to keep going or to jerk away and run from the room.  
“Ok, one finger.” Bill informed him quietly before he pushed his index in. Tom's muscles went tight, clenching like an iron first around Bill's finger. He thought he might hyperventilate, but found himself still breathing steadily after a few moments. His heart was pounding wildly before it set in that it didn't hurt at all.  
“Are you okay?” Bill asked once more, his hand still against him.  
Tom swallowed, and let out a breath, “Yes, yes.” He whispered, quickly, before adding, “Keep going.”  
“Okay.” Bill returned before sliding his finger in further. He pushed it in to his knuckles before drawing back slightly and repeating the process. Tom's pressed his eyes shut and told himself to relax, but his muscles remained tight.  
Bill kept the finger pumping steadily into him, not demanding. After a minute Tom relaxed a little and Bill asked, “Are you ready for another?”  
Again, Tom felt frozen for a moment before he nodded against the mattress. He felt his entrance stretch and then two fingers filled him. Tom was surprised that it actually felt kind of good. He inched his hips up slightly against Bill's hand as Bill's pressed them in. His middle finger pressed deeper and Bill curled his fingers, stroking. Tom gasped as a sudden, pleasurable sensation came over him. His back arched for a moment before he fell back to bed, breathing hard.  
“What was... Was that...?” Tom stuttered.  
“Mmmhmm.” Bill murmured. “Did it feel good?”  
“Yeah,” Tom whispered, “Really good.” He felt Bill's little smile again.  
“Good.” Bill whispered and he sounded relieved. Tom knew how Bill reacted to his prostate being touched and was suddenly pleased that they were identical in yet another way. After having felt the first hint of pleasure, Tom felt a bit more relaxed. He might be able to handle this, he thought.  
Bill began to stroke his fingers in and out, just as he had with the index. This time he grazed Tom's prostate every few strokes, sending jolts of pleasure through Tom's veins.  
Bill leaned over him and Tom felt his lips brush his buttocks, the ends of his soft hair teasing his thighs. “I wanna lick you.” Bill whispered suddenly, his voice low and husky, a tone that Tom had rarely heard. The confession made his stomach wind into hot, aroused knots, and his heart began to hammer, this time in a different way. Tom lifted his hips up slightly, a silent offering. Tom felt a shudder in Bill's hand before it retreated, leaving him empty. The feeling left Tom slightly bereft, much to his surprise.  
Both of Bill's hands squeezed his buttocks, spreading them apart again. Tom felt the heat of Bill's mouth wash over his cleft and his squeezed the bedsheets tighter in his hands. Next, he felt the wet of Bill's tongue stroking him. He circled his entrance with the tip of his tongue before pressing his tongue flat along him. Tom cried out when he felt Bill's tongue ring scraping up his cleft, almost making its way into his hole.  
“Good?” Bill asked, his torturing tongue retreating for a moment.  
“Yeah.” Tom whispered, his voice hoarse with pleasure and desire.  
Bill's tongue came back, more confidant this time. He lathered him with his saliva, mixing it with the remnants of the lube and making a hot, slick mess. With that done, he plunged his tongue in, the firm tip of his tongue piercing Tom before he felt the tongue ring slid in. He could feel it inside him, stroking at the walls of his tight channel. Farther up, the tip of his tongue sought out Tom's prostate, barely teasing at the sensitive nub. The sensations were torturously pleasurable, the sounds that Bill's wet tongue made inside his slick body even more so. It all left Tom gasping, his lips parted in a silent cry. His vocal cords felt frozen and he could only lift his ass back towards Bill in expression of wonderfully he was pleasuring him.  
By the time Bill pulled back, Tom was sure that he was on the verge of coming. Bill's voice was a cold splash of reality, reminding Tom that there was more to this encounter than fingering and rimming.  
“Do you think you're ready?” Bill whispering, his fingers darting back into Tom as if to hold him open in the meantime. He pressed them softly in and out, a distraction to Tom's line of thinking.  
Was he ready?  
He didn't remember being this scared the first time he had sex with a girl. He didn't even remember being this scared the first time he and Bill had been intimate. Tom knew that was mostly because he had been the one in charge all those other times. This time was different and Tom had told himself for years that he would never be able to handle bottoming. He never thought he could bottom to Bill, but as it turned out, he might be the only person that Tom could ever trust that fully.  
“Tom?” Bill said in response to Tom's deafening silence. “We can stop anytime.”  
“No.” Tom said, his voice scratchy. “No. I said no stopping.”  
“Its ok to be afraid, Tom.” Bill told him in a soothing voice.  
Tom wanted to say that he wasn't afraid but he had already admitted his true feelings to Bill. Doing that had gotten him this far, and continuing to be honest would probably be best.  
“I'm not afraid with you.” He replied instead, his voice sounding small.  
Bill leaned down and kiss his shoulder and his nape that was damp with sweat. He reached up and pulled the hairband out of his hand, letting the loose strands fall over his shoulders. Tom was still not quite used to having his hair down. It was an odd feeling not having dreadlocks or cornrows, but he thought he might begin to like it more as Bill ran his fingers through the dark locks.  
“Condom or no?” Bill asked, his voice remaining calm. Bill often opted for no condom when they had sex and Tom had to admit that he enjoyed it more. To be honest, Tom didn't know what difference it would make now. He was about to give himself fully to Bill and no kind of thin barrier could shield him from the impact it would have on him.  
“No.” He whispered at last and he could sense Bill's surprise but he didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled his fingers back and Tom heard him opening the lube again. He lay still as Bill prepared himself, then the weight of him was pressing against Tom again and he could feel Bill's cock prodding him. He closed his eyes as the hot, wet tip pressed between he buttocks. Bill shifted and took a hold of Tom's hip, pulling him closer. Tom tried to breath right but he felt like he was underwater, unable to fill his lungs with life-giving air. He could only breath in panic that made him sink like a stone. He lay under Bill, not making a sound, but silently panicking. He mind was spinning and he didn't feel grounded although he was holding tightly to the bed.  
Behind him, Bill eased forward, slowly, carefully. Tom felt his head penetrate him and he felt his entrance stretch. He gasped, his hands beginning to shake. In his mind, he told himself to calm down or else he was going to have a full-blown panic attack, but he brain wasn't cooperating.  
“Is that okay?” Bill asked, stilling. When Tom didn't answer, Bill repeated, “Tom, are you okay?”  
A strangled sound exited Tom's throat and Bill said, “I'm pulling out.”  
“N-no!” Tom cried. “Don't stop!”  
“Okay, calm down.” Bill's voice was smooth like silk, or like the cream that he rubbed on his skin that made it so soft. “Tom, listen to me. You're okay. I'm right here.”  
The words fell on Tom's ears like water on a desert and he relaxed against the bed, hicupping before he realizing that tears had grown in his eyes. He cursed himself for being so weak. He didn't remember Bill acting like this the first time. Of course he had been uncertain and a little scared, but he hadn't panicked and he definitely hadn't cried.  
“Do you want to stop?” Bill asked again and Tom wished he would quit saying that.  
“No. I want you to do it.” Tom insisted, hating the thick, emotional tone in his voice.  
“Okay.” Bill said. “Relax. Just relax.” He waited for a moment before easing forward again. Tom bit down on his lower lip as he felt an uncomfortable, painful pressure weigh down inside him. God, was it supposed to be like this? He wanted it to feel like when Bill had fingered his prostate.  
“Bill...” He whimpered and Bill kissed his shoulder once more, stroking his hair. “It's ok.” He murmured and Tom wondered how he was keeping it together. Tom was usually lost by this point, thrusting and searching for release and pleasure. Bill, however, moved slowly and gently, as if he hardly cared for his own climax. “It won't feel good at first, but just give it a moment.” Bill counseled softly in his ear.  
Tom nodded and tried to relax once more. Bill shifted again and Tom gasped, “Is... is it all the way?”  
“Almost.” Bill whispered, placing reassuring kisses along Tom's neck and behind his ear. His hips rocked forward and Tom felt as if Bill's cock were so much longer than it really was. When at last he felt Bill's testicles against his perineum, he let out breath. It didn't feel as bad as when Bill had first entered him and Tom felt a bit of his fear subside.  
“You okay?” Bill asked.  
Tom nodded, not trusting his voice.  
“We're both going to come, okay?” Bill said, as if to reassure Tom that this wasn't all pain and toil. “Together.” He said firmly.  
Tom nodded once more, before whispering, “Move, Bill, please, move.”  
Bill didn't say anything. He just followed Tom's command, beginning to rock against him. The first few thrusts were more pain than pleasure, but slowly the dull throb began to abate, giving way to a new ache. Tom lowered his head against the sheets, tried to breathe steadily. He wanted to thrust back against Bill, but he feared what the results of that action would be. He decided it was better to let Bill handle this. He had been doing better than Tom so far.  
Bill held firmly to his hip with one hand as he began to pump in and out of him, while his other hand continued to caress Tom's hair. Slowly, Tom's muscles began to loosen and he inched his hips up slightly as Bill thrust into him.  
“Better?” Bill murmured in his ear. Tom nodded raggedly, strands of loose hair falling about his face. “Good.” Bill whispered. “That's good. You're doing good.”  
Tom let his head fall back to the mattress, letting out a low moan. He braced his elbows on either side of his head, finding his entire body taut and quivering.  
Bill's warm breath washed over his back as his hips rocked steadily against him. He rolled them upwards and Tom gasped in a breath as he felt him hit his prostate. It felt so much more intense with Bill's cockhead instead of just his fingers and Tom felt his entire stomach clench.  
“Oh, God, Bill...” He whispered, staring down hard at the pattern of the coverlet.  
Bill groaned quietly and the sound set shivers down Tom's spine, like it always did. “You're so good, Tomi.” He whispered, his warm breath washing over Tom's neck. Goosebumps suddenly lined Tom's arms, the praise making his chest swell. Yes, this was what he wanted. He wanted it to be good. He wanted to be good for Bill.  
Bill's hips pumped a little faster and Tom quavered for a moment, his body tensing with the change of speed. He told himself to relax before Bill noticed any change in Tom's behavior. He couldn't have Bill stopping when they had gotten this far. Tom closed his eyes and concentrated on the pleasure swirling through him, blocking out any pain that was still lingering.  
I can do this, I can do this, he told himself. His fingers curled into the sheets as Bill lifted his hips up a bit, sharpening the angle of his entrance. He gasped, feeling Bill's cock dragging straight over his prostate now. A quiver went straight through his stomach, and a moan burst from his lips in the form of Bill's name.  
Bill held onto his hip with one hand and Tom felt the other slink beneath him. Bill's smooth, long fingers glided over him and Tom's breath shuddered. His heart was racing and waves of heat were washing over him. Every muscle was tensed, waiting.  
“That's it. Let it come.” Bill's soft, lilting voice stroked his senses, and Tom eagerly reached out. Yes, he wanted it; he wanted it so badly.  
“Bill, oh, Bill...” He mumbled, hardly able to form intelligent words, much less sentences as Bill was.  
A moment later, however, Bill fell silent except for soft sounds of pleasure that wrapped around Tom's senses in the most wonderful way. There was one thing that hadn't changed – Bill was beautiful when he made love.  
Bill's fingers tightened around Tom's cock, his hot palm rubbing up and down the heated, aching column over and over in time with his thrusts. His thumb stroked at Tom's head with each upward stroke, massaging at the wetness that was leaking from the tiny slit. Tom could do nothing but thrust towards Bill's pleasuring hand and back towards his penetrating cock.  
Tom could feel a deluge of pleasure welling up inside him, rushing towards all the dams that he had put up against this encounter. He knew that it would be more than enough to destroy them, to completely demolish them to the ground. For the first time, he wasn't afraid.  
Tom shuddered, felt his stomach clench, then lower down. His entire groin tightened and he rose up on a tide of all-consuming pleasure. He quavered, breaking beneath the pressure. “Ohhh!” The cry rose from his lips and he let himself go. He allowed the spasms to take him, the pleasure to rock him. He body was helpless to the pleasure that ravaged him from the inside out, and his voice was puppet, rising and falling with each new wave. He didn't know what he was saying, couldn't even really remember where he was. He just knew that Bill was with him.  
A moment later, he felt the rush of hot cum inside him, the swell of Bill's cock as he came to the pinnacle of his own climax. His fingers grappled over Tom's body, latching on as he shuddered and thrust. Tom's name was on his lips and it had never sounded so sweet. His arms were about Tom by the time they were both descending from the height of orgasm and Bill collapsed against him, pressing their hot, fevered bodies together.  
“Oh...” He murmured. “Oh, Tom..” He didn't need to say anymore, because Tom could already hear the “I love you” wrapped up inside the two, simple syllables. Tom couldn't say anything at all. His body was throbbing with a beautiful ache and Bill had yet to disconnect them.  
They lay tangled together in the sheets, not saying a word, just breathing the same air, thinking the same thoughts.  
At last, Bill moved and Tom let out a hissing breath as he slid his spent cock from him. Tom rolled over slowly and felt the immediate dull ache go through him. He relaxed onto his back as it passed and Bill leaned over him. His eyes were bright, his cheeks still a rosy hue. There was a smile pulling at his full lips. He lifted a hand, and drew his fingertips over Tom's cheekbone.  
“I love you.” He stated.  
“I love you.” Tom returned, his voice raspy.  
“I'm so proud of you.” Bill whispered, leaning down to kiss him and then pull him against his chest. Tom wrapped his arms around Bill's thin frame.  
“I should've trusted you before.” He whispered.  
“No,” Bill pulled back. “You needed time and I should've understood that.” He frowned for a moment before his brow smoothed, “But that's the past now.”  
Tom nodded slowly. That was the past. And what was the future?  
“Next time,” Tom said quietly, “I want to see your face.”  
Bill's eyes widened, a look of surprise flashing over his face. “Next time.” He whispered, sounding as if the air had been taken from him.  
Tom nodded, a smile of his own forming. “Next time.” He bit his lower lip, suddenly feeling self-conscious as never before. Bill, however, broke out into one of his brilliant smiles.  
“Oh, Tomi,” He said and kissed him once more. “I love you.” He repeated.  
They didn't need to say anymore. There was no need. It had all been said; it had all been done. And for now, Tom was content to simply be in Bill's arms.


End file.
